Please note that today's blog had a lot of cussing in it. I speak both kinds of French rather well. I wrote this a while ago and forgot to post it. This incident happened back sometime in June.
Today I would like to discuss a man whom I have dubbed 'the biggest ass of all time'. He was a customer at my store the other day, and frankly he should be glad we didn't live in old west times because I would have been that Saloon girl with a shotgun, and he'd be out back with the potato skins.
So ass walks in and orders large cup of coffee. He does so rather condescendingly as if he is above even speaking to such lowly minimum wage servers. To be honest, that's fine, I'm above exchanging unnecessary words with spoiled idiots who don't have to work to make there dreams come true. If he had stopped there he would simply have been an unpleasant smudge on an otherwise fun day easily erase by the other customers I have who honestly make my day fun and make me happy i can bring a smile to there face with a simple smile and free refill on coffee. So really, ass should have stopped there.
Guess what? He didn't.
A** wanted a refill. Well whooptie do, here ya go, enjoy that. Nice and fresh so you can't possible have anything to complain about. That's right head for the door, walk right out of my life and please don't come...oh for the love all that is decent in the world why are you walking back in here? I do not have time for this, we're kinda short staffed I have two repairs going on right now, just go wait in line please...oh of course, you are a line jumper too. Perfect, well, you are no longer my problem as I am busy helping another customer, making six lattes with only one functional machine, and trying to ensure my boss doesn't have a heart attack. Well the ass singles me out. He then proceeds to inform me that the coffee refill he received was filled all the way to the top. That was it, no response otherwise. Naturally I have to ask what the problem was. Then looking at me as if I was the most incompetent human in the world he says "I wanted it 3/4 of the way full," I was shocked, and looked at him, waiting for the issue. So he continues "Pour me one that is 3/4 full."
WHAT THE HELL! AM I SOME F****** MIND READER? HOW THE F*** WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN ONLY ENJOY YOUR DAMNED COFFEE IF IT'S F****** 3/4 OF THE WAY FULL?! NOT ONLY THAT BUT WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME WITH THIS?! THERE IS A BEVERAGE STATION FOUR FEET TO YOUR LEFT WITH A DRAIN, AND YOU WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF A MOTHER F****** BUSH WHEN YOU WENT OUTSIDE. WE HAVE TRASHCANS, POUR SOME OUT IN THERE! DO NOT COME AND BOTHER ME WITH YOUR ISSUES. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU COULD SPILL, THE DAMN COFFEE HAS A LID! GO LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE AND PUT IT OUT WITH THE 1/4 CUP OF COFFEE YOU DON'T WANT! D'ARVIT, D'ARVIT D'ARVIT YOU F****** ASSHOLE!
So I took his coffee to the back poured him a new cup, and then gave it to him. He did not thank me, he just picked it up and left. I switched it out with decaf, if I wasn't such a nice person I would have licked it. Please, don't piss off the people who handle your food, you will fall asleep from a caffine crash or get mono. Pour out your own coffee, especially when I am busy. May Karma find you Asshole, and may she be her bitchy self.
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